Ending Abuse

“We don’t want to break up; we just want the abuse to stop.”

Hurtful behavior, including emotional and physical abuse, is common in relationships: Half of all couples who come to therapy have had at least one incident of physical aggression in the past twelve months.

I am intimately familiar with this issue, having co-led over two hundred group sessions at Emerge, the nation’s oldest abuse-treatment agency. Unfortunately, most therapists have little or no training in this area. This often leads to a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy, and many will terminate therapy if domestic violence is disclosed.

It doesn’t have to be that way! Working with someone who understands your situation can help your relationship become a safe haven, filled with warmth and love.

What to expect from our work together

Safety is the first priority. We’ll make sure each of you feels able to talk about your thoughts, feelings, and experiences without fear of reprisal. Safety measures are customized to fit your specific situation.

Each of you will have my full respect. People who do hurtful things do not wish to be hurtful, and demonizing them does not help matters. Shame and blame encourage defensiveness, often leading to worse behavior. The antidote is compassionate communication in a structured, contained environment.

We’ll work to eliminate any physical violence and address other behaviors that harm relationships, including badgering, bullying, undermining, name-calling, criticism, contempt, keeping score, humiliation, jealousy, privacy invasion, addictions, affairs, controlling behavior, reckless driving, threats, stalking, destruction of property, and sexual pressure.

We’ll also focus on what works for each of you, and how you can enjoy more of it. Eliminating abuse is just a start; ultimately, you want a relationship where you come home and your heart lights up.

Let’s get started!

Call me at 617-969-8869 for a free consultation about how your relationship can be safe and secure. My practice is by video for now. You can connect from any computer, tablet or cell phone in privacy and safety. We’re all in this together.